This morning started with some nerve-racking but fun mountain biking. All was well until I got 2 flats in the first run. Then I was nervous that I was going to make the group wait. Everything in my body was shaking. Not from fear I have done Geronimo a few time and I am getting better and better. It was holding the group up that was screwing with my mind. Lucky for me I had 2 tubes. When I got to the bottom they had not even been waiting long because they were waiting for someone else. The next ride was national to 32nd street. I guess it’s not an official trail but it was great. Steep as shit but not very technical. I decides to call it because my front side wall was in bad shape and I didn’t want to pinch the tube.
After deciding I needed more of a workout I bought a speed stack and went to 24 hour Fitness.
Now I am dead and at the pool working on my tan and practicing relaxing. Erin says I can not relax it be quiet. I’ll have you know I have not opened my mouth for an hour!
Oh and I have to leave you with this, WTF
She will never get laid!
I heard a story over Christmas about a guy that got his girlfriend a Tiffany’s necklace for her birthday. This was only after a few months. For Christmas this wonderful person asked for a Michael Kors bag. He said that it was not going to be possible because times are a bit tough. Her response was then you can take me shopping and pay me back when you get the $$$$$. WTF
First don’t buy anyone Tiffany’s as a first gift. They will expect more and more. Second, choose wisely. This is a grown ass woman and her “Daddy” is still picking up her laundry and doing it every week. Soiled brats will always be spoiled brats!
Let me help you decide if she is right for you.
1. Pick an attractive woman with a nice booty. If you are not attracted to them it will not matter how nice they are.
2. Meet her parents! If you don’t like them you probably will not like her in the long run. Yes, there are exceptions but its rare and you will have to hang out with the parents anyway.
3. Meet her friends. Peoples friends generally have a lot of similarities to themselves.
4. If she passes all of these test then you can start speaking to her.
This is the best order. Although it will never happen this way, it is ideal. She is going to put on a show for the first few months and these other people will not. Basically what I am saying is if you like her do steps 2 and 3 asap. If you hate her parents and/or friends get out early.
5. Check to make sure she does not watch Jersey Shore
6. Make sure you have things in common. Yes, its important that she like sex, a lot of sex but it’s also important like they like things that take more than 5 minutes. Camping, running, biking, tennis, etc.
7. Make sure she has a job!
8. Make sure she is smart but not too smart. Talking to a wall gets old after a while. Listening to an encyclopedia on tape gets old too.
9. Make sure they like staying in shape, but if she does you owe it to her to stay in shape too!!! No fair telling her to stay in shape while you can’t see your toes.
10. If you’re not happy with the answers to the above find a new girlfriend and repeat.