Where a Man can be a Man and not told to Shut Up!

Posts tagged “sex

Dr. Z and Bitterman Podcast


We talk about important life issues.  In today’s show we talk about people that have expensive cars that feel they need a huge sticker to let you know what it is, how toilet protectors affect our lives, why milk hormones only benefit women, what happen to the receptionist that killed herself over putting a prank call through to Princess Kate, the difference between face soap and body soap, and why women don’t like balls.

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I Think We Survived the Apocalypse (End of the World) I Think!


Well I went to an end of the world party last night.  It was a lot of people from work.  We mostly talked about two other people from work.  Gossip, Gossip. I drank some delicious Anchor Porter.  It is in my top 10 favorite beers.  It is chocolaty goodness.

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The party started at 6. I woke up at 6 and it was an hour away.  This basically equals I am not going to stay until 12 and see the end of the world.  Erin asked me if we would just sleep through the end and I said I hope so.  She said I want to see it, so I hit her in the shoulder hard and said it might hurt like that.  LOL.  Erin: ok i should sleep through it I guess.  Although tired as shit I said that we had to have sex because I am not dying without going out with a bang, I will use this line again tonight.  I think maybe the Mayans were just trying to get everyone laid.  I mean think about it.  Last night you could have went to a bar and used the Pitbull line “Can’t promise tomorrow
But, I promise tonight”.  So if you didn’t use this line last night it may still work tonight.  I can’t promise anything but its worth a try.

So I am now writing this blog so I lived through it.  Oh but maybe it ends tonight.  I am trying to figure out what cigar in the humidor would be appropriate for the end of the world.  I did buy some Zaya rum to have with it because I have heard good things but I have never tried an aged rum.

I will be making a Podcast tonight so look for it tomorrow.


Jolene’s Christmas Gifts


So I have a wonderful “Christian” neighbor that hates me, my brother, my wife, and my dogs. She doesn’t talk to us about anything her solutions to all problems are either call the cops or the HOA. Keep in mind the HOA has never found any problems with us. Also I feel like she could ask us one time to quiet down on the weekends before calling the cops. The cops should fine her for wasting their time. She has my phone number. The biggest problem for her is she never leaves the house. So I have decided what she needs for Christmas.

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Rx- apply nipple clamps and a generous quantity of ky and ride 2-3 times a day for as long as needed until an intense feeling “orgasm” occurs. Yes, it needs to be this big. She needs to get that funk out that has built up over the years and is causing the anger. If still not happy after 7 days join Match.com and start fucking real people. If that doesn’t work you might be a lesbian. If still not happy your just a bitch.
Try shoving this in your ass!
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C Dog


Shake Weight? Maybe!


Here are some great YouTube videos for you to enjoy.



A Very Funny Episode of Southpark


Since the Bangle’s cheerleader is banging one of her student I thought that I would share this epic Southpark episode with you.

 

NICE!

 

Teacher Bangs a Boy/Dog the Bounty Hunter


Manscaping


No you just can’t let that jungle grow.  Women are pissed!  They don’t like your nasty swam sack. You have to groom it if you want to get some on a regular basis.  Yea in the old days you might be able to get away with an amazon jungle but this is not the old days.  Things have changed and not only women need to groom.  Now you may be saying, “where do I start?”  Start by asking your partner what they like.  No point in shaving your gorilla chest if she is an animal lover.

Ok now you have three main options: shaving, waxing, and a laser.

Shaving

Advantages:

  1. Variable length
  2. Pain free (until you get an ingrown hair)
  3. cheap

Disadvantages:

  1. Ingrown Hairs
  2. Not permanent
  3. Grows Back fast

Waxing

Advantages:

  1. Very smooth
  2. Takes a while to grow back

Disadvantages:

  1. Wholy SHIT it hurts (especially bellow the belly button)
  2. Not permanent
  3. $$
  4. Depending on the area you are going to really get to know the waxer
  5. In a brazilian they don’t wax the sack

Laser

Advantages:

  1. Permanent
  2. Smooth
  3. Not very painful

Disadvantages:

  1. $$$$$$$$$$ Look for a GROUPON
  2. All or Nothing

So there are probably some parts better for one treatment and other parts better for other treatments.  For instance bikers, shaving your under carriage and then riding for hours can lead to a painful and flat out nasty looking groin area.  I would recommend trimming (put that old number 1 on the trimmer) or laser.  Also if you have a super hairy chest you might get sick of shaving and need waxing (the more hair the more pain) or laser.

This Norelco Bodygroom electric razor is a great option.  Close shave with almost no ingrown hairs. I would give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Basically what I am saying is if your woman likes things groomed, do it and you will thank me.

P.S. For you macho guys if your trim it, it will look bigger and better!

P.P.S. To the women that read this you are welcome.