Where a Man can be a Man and not told to Shut Up!

Archive for May, 2012

Happy Mother’s Day


Podcast 4

http://themanpub.podbean.com/2012/05/13/happy-mothers-day-fly-safe/

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The Podcast is HERE


The podcast is now available.We are still waiting to be listed on iTunes however the podcast is available for you.  Click below to subscribe via rss or iTunes.  There is also a page listed above and an episode list to the right.


Octomom Porn Video


Octomom is going to do a porn video. I am not sure what to think about this. I mean she is looking good in this picture I got from the “Huffington Post”

What are your thoughts on this.  Are you going to watch it?  I am if I can get it free just because I am curious but I wouldn’t buy it for sure.


Air Traffic Control


From an unknown source

Air Tower Instructions

Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”

Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.”
TWA 2341: “Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”
Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”

>From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m f….ing bored!”
Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!”
Unknown aircraft: “I said I was f…ing bored, not f….ing stupid!”

O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this…I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, “What was your last known position?”
Student: “When I was number one for takeoff.”

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted:
“American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.”

A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): “Ground, what is our start clearance time?”
Ground (in English): “If you want an answer you must speak in English.”
Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?”
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):”Because you lost the bloody war!”

Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7”
Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”
Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?”
Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern… We’ve already notified our caterers.”

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,”What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?”
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: “I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I’ll have enough parts for another one.”

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: ” Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! Clear of active runway.”
Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Al pha One-Seven.”
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”
Speedbird
206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.”
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?”
Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, — And I didn’t land.”

While taxiing at London ‘s Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft.Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:”US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!”

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: “God! Now you’ve screwed everything up! It’ll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don’t move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: “Wasn’t I married to you once?”


Mother’s Day


Mother’s day is May 13th. Have you decided what to get your Mom? Well I just sent my Mom some Shari’s Berries. I have always wanted to send these to some one and got the idea while listen to Sunday School, Penn Jillett’s Podcast. Everyone sends flowers and that is great but it is good to change it up. Here are some other great ideas for Mom.

The Fitness Mom
Lulu Lemmon clothes or gift card
Icebreaker Clothing
Lucy gift card
Yoga
Merrell Barfoot Shoes

The Holistic Mom
Spa finder gift card
Whole Foods Gift Card
Acupuncture
Fresh Produce delivery
Burt’s Bees Products

The Boojee Mom
Coach Purse or even better Louis Vuitton
Cruise
Norstrum or Barney’s gift card
Jewelry from Tiffany’s or Better
Sprinkles Cupcakes

Normal Mom
Body Shop Gift Set
Flowers
Edible Arrangements
Shari’s Berries
Jewelry


Adam Carolla


My friend got me to start listening to “The Adam Carolla Show” podcast. Finally, someone who I have a lot in common with. This guy says everything that I think. The show is hilarious. You guys will love the show. He calls it like it is.  Check out the podcast. Oh if you are a tight ass and you daily radio is Rush Limbaugh you will hate Adam. Chances are if you read my blog you will like it.

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adam-carolla-show/id306390087

I am working on starting my own podcast because I think it is much easier for me to express myself that way. It’s hard to emphasize and show emotion blogging in text. I am hoping to have the first one up in the next few days. I will keep you informed.


Japanese Vending Machines


In Japan there is really nothing that you can not find in a vending machine.  You can buy almost any kind of food from noodles to Kobe beef.  The drink selection is absolutely amazing.  You can get everything from green tea to Coke to hot or cold coffee to juice all in the same machine.  I loved buying the hot coffee cans.  Best of all you can get beer!  Vending machines are everywhere because unlike the US Japanese citizens do not vandalize and steel everything that is outside.  What a concept!

One vending machine that I just found out about that even to me is a bit gross is women’s used underwear.  Now I am probably hornier than average and I just can’t figure this out.  I mean I know they put an amazingly hot girl on the box but do you really think she it the girl who wore them?  It’s probably like phone sex.  She may sound amazing but she weighs a good 350 with facial hair and hasn’t taken a shower in a week.  At about $50 that is a big risk.  I would love this job though.  I mean you prob get free underwear and then a pay check when you turn your underwear in at the end of the week.  If any of you want a pair of let me know I will do a pair for $30.  Below is a video of these vending machines.

http://embed.break.com/MjA3ODY3Mw==/ai/0/zi/0/ds/1/st/embed
Girls Panty Vending Machine in Japan! – Watch More Funny Videos


Elite Status WTF


Walking out of the crew lounge today there was a frequent flier leaving the lounge waiting directly in front of the elevator. As the doors opened there were about 10 people inside. I moved aside to let them exit. The bitch next to me refused to move. She stood right in front of the doors and made people walk around her. Listen up. Just because you think that you are all that doesn’t mean all others should bow down to you.  Get out of the way.  I think you should be able to just run these people over.  How funny would it be if one of the flight attendants on the elevator just walked right through her and laid her out and turned around and then said to her “here are your peanuts bitch.”  That would have been priceless!