My friend Steve gave me some great jokes for you guys.
Q: what are the main ingredients in Viagra
A: fix a flat and miracle grow
Q: what do you get when you mix viagra and rogaine
A: Don King
Q: what do a dildo and tofu have in common
A: they are both meat substitutes
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married….
If this does not make you laugh out loud you have lost your sense of humor.
The other night I was invited out for a night with the”girls”.
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight,”I promise!”
Well the hours passed and the margaritas went down way to easily.
Around 3:00 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door , the cuckoo clock in the hallway started and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I really was proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 totals = 12 cuckooes Midnight.)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him Midnight…He didn’t seem pissed off in the least.
Whew , I got away with that one! Then he said “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
When I asked him Why, he said, Well last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “Oh shit”, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat ,cuckooed another three times , giggled, cuckooed twice more and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.