New Year Resolutions and Video of an Awesome Dog
Well tomorrow is New Years Eve. Next year the world is coming to an end (LOL) so this year your resolutions have to be amazing. So the normal resolution is to get in shape and most people work really hard at this for about a week and the dedicated people last 2 weeks.
This guy exercises and meditates at the same time
So how is this year going to be different. I used to be a Personal Trainer and I am still very much into fitness. The key is to have fun. Going to the gym will not alone get you fit. You have to know what you are doing and you have to enjoy it. This may take time because in the beginning it will hurt and you will suffer a bit. If you do not like the gym then don’t go! There are plenty other things you can do: biking, running, swimming, soccer, tennis, cross-country skiing, etc. The best thing you can do is sign up for a race or tournament that way you will hold yourself accountable. Also if possible get a coach or personal trainer. Also there are great apps that can help you such as all sport GPS, FitDeck, and Livestrong MyPlate.
So what else are you going to do. I mean now you are going to look good and feel good so what are you going to do! For some of you, you need to stop being scared of life and get out the and enjoy it. “If you risk nothing, you risk everything.” (Geena Davis) Some people won’t go biking because they might get hurt, some will not go sky diving or scuba diving for the same reason. Yea I know you have a family that depends on you but that’s what insurance is for, use it. Watching your life pass you by will kill you faster than any activity, well base jumping might kill you faster so if you have a family you probably shouldn’t do it but you get my point have fun and take risks.
Next year is new opportunity. Have fun!
Great Video of a guy downhilling with his dog
http://www.pinkbike.com/v/227689
Lastly, I will leave you with a quote.
“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
― Albert Einstein
We all forget this sometimes but one day that garbage man might be your boss. We all have to start somewhere and we all have set backs and that garbage man has great potential. We are all equal and sometimes it is a very small gesture that makes your life turn from ordinary to extraordinary.
HSN
I woke up this morning and for some reason I was watching HSN (Home Shopping Network). These sales people were trying to sell a rechargeable fluorescent light for 15 minutes. They had to just keep repeating what they said over and over. Then a woman was selling rejuvenating cream and they had before and after pictures. The before picture looked better than the after. In the after picture the woman looked jaundice. Lastly, they are selling an electric snowblower. Its such a piece of crap. It doesn’t go continuously threw the snow. If you get a big snow you better get the shovel because this thing probably could not move more than 2 inches. My advice never watch this channel for anything other than amusement.
Chilling a Coke or Beer in 2 Minutes
We have all bought some beer and were upset it wasn’t already refrigerated. Now here is the key to getting it cold fast!
LAX Run to the Beach and Back
Great run this morning to the beach in L.A. I have been slacking on my workout routines and finally checked the mirror and was not happy. After running 4 miles last night I decided I was going to run to the beach this morning which was a 7.5 mile round trip. 11.5 miles in the last 18 hours. Although it was a 3.5 mile jump with no rest I felt great. For some reason people were staring at me in their cars. I think it was because I was running on a road with no shoulder part of the time but thats the way to the beach so what am I supposed to do. I have to say I used to hate running and although I think it takes awhile before you start to like it, it can really be amazing. Running almost always puts me in a good mood. Sometimes I am in a bad mood because I have to run but when I am finished I am always happy.
Choosing a Woman
I heard a story over Christmas about a guy that got his girlfriend a Tiffany’s necklace for her birthday. This was only after a few months. For Christmas this wonderful person asked for a Michael Kors bag. He said that it was not going to be possible because times are a bit tough. Her response was then you can take me shopping and pay me back when you get the $$$$$. WTF
First don’t buy anyone Tiffany’s as a first gift. They will expect more and more. Second, choose wisely. This is a grown ass woman and her “Daddy” is still picking up her laundry and doing it every week. Soiled brats will always be spoiled brats!
Let me help you decide if she is right for you.
1. Pick an attractive woman with a nice booty. If you are not attracted to them it will not matter how nice they are.
2. Meet her parents! If you don’t like them you probably will not like her in the long run. Yes, there are exceptions but its rare and you will have to hang out with the parents anyway.
3. Meet her friends. Peoples friends generally have a lot of similarities to themselves.
4. If she passes all of these test then you can start speaking to her.
This is the best order. Although it will never happen this way, it is ideal. She is going to put on a show for the first few months and these other people will not. Basically what I am saying is if you like her do steps 2 and 3 asap. If you hate her parents and/or friends get out early.
5. Check to make sure she does not watch Jersey Shore
6. Make sure you have things in common. Yes, its important that she like sex, a lot of sex but it’s also important like they like things that take more than 5 minutes. Camping, running, biking, tennis, etc.
7. Make sure she has a job!
8. Make sure she is smart but not too smart. Talking to a wall gets old after a while. Listening to an encyclopedia on tape gets old too.
9. Make sure they like staying in shape, but if she does you owe it to her to stay in shape too!!! No fair telling her to stay in shape while you can’t see your toes.
10. If you’re not happy with the answers to the above find a new girlfriend and repeat.
The Fun of Holiday Travel
There are so many people at the airport! The crowds are crazy. The good thing for you as a passenger is that there are also bars. As a Pilot I have to deal with all of the craziness sober but not you. First thing first. Check in at home and try not to bring bags to check. This will get rid of one line. Next head to security and wear nice underwear because you will have to strip down to it. After you get dressed and get that HOT 300 pound man with the skin tight pants that just felt you up out of your mind head to the bar. This will help to cope with the crowds out people that instantly turn into idiots when they get to the airport. Do not ask flight crews where your gate is! We have no idea. The door to you flight will close 10 min early. I think gate agents get whipped if a plane is 30 sec late, so they will not open the door even if their life depends on it. If the door to the gate is closed sorry. Remember if you have a problem unless you are on Southwest the gate agent doesn’t give a shit. She wants you to go back to the bar and miss you flight. You are just another person that could delay the flight and she will get beat again with a leather whip or something. Do not schedule a 30 min connection because you will miss it and flights are full and the gate agent hate you so you will never get to your destination. At least if you do miss your flight there will probably be good people watching.
If you actually get on a fight this is a good start. Now you have to deal with the flight attendants that could be your great Grandmother. If you get on most airlines they don’t like you or themselves. They hate life and especially their jobs. You will have better luck on a regional airline of Southwest. If on United, GET OFF! you have no shot at a pleasant flight attendant. On the plane I would suggest more booze so that you can sleep and don’t have to deal with the B.S. For for your own well being don’t order some crazy drink with 3 juices and 4 liquors. You will get your throat slit and somehow the cops will be at the gate for you and not the paramedics. Hope that all of this information helps. Safe Travels!
How to be a Good Man During the Holidays
The holidays are a very hard time to get along with the enemy (wife/girlfriend). From about Halloween – New Years they have these new radio stations that play Christmas music. I can get through about 2-3 songs and then I am ready to move on. That being said women love this stuff. Their car will even have a preset for it. You could go on a 3 hour trip and if you didn’t say I am about to die if I hear another song, you would listen to it for the whole ride. This will be your first down fall (asking to change the station). Next you better get thought lights up! I am lucky. I am in a condo so I just have to do is put them around my garage and that takes about 5 minutes because I leave the hooks up year round. Next is inside the house. You need a tree if you are celebrating Christmas and a Menorah if you are Celebrating Hanukkah. The Jewish men have always won, until now! Introducing “The MAN’S Christmas Tree.”
Now your partner will probably want to put out the rest of the holiday decoration themselves because we will surely not know what to do with that table runner and the bowl of glass balls.
So basically do your best to help out!
Teaching Your Wife to Mountain Bike
Ok Lets try this post again. I got finished on the iPhone app last night and was looking up a word and then it froze.
Yesterday of was another amazing day in Phoenix and my wife Erin said she wanted to go Mountain Biking. Wow! She has gone about 3 or 4 time since she got the bike 3 years ago. We decided on Pima and Dynamite which according to Cosmic Ray Fat Tire Mountain bike guide it is a “puck 2”. Not too scary but it is a fun trail. Erin now disagrees. Erin also used the F bomb like I have never heard before.
She fell twice. That not bad at all considering how sandy and loose it is. After the second fall where she got hurt she got mad and although appeared not to have fun she became a much improved rider.
Patience is the key to teaching your wife anything. I do not have patience. I think that I did very good though. I complimented her anytime she did something hard. I tried to just explain what she was doing wrong when things didn’t go so well. When you are good at something that does not mean you are a good teach. Although I think we had a successful day I am still not a good teacher.
Erin’s Comments
What a Weekend
Saturday was awesome. My friend Danny and I went to Sunrise Ski Resort. It started off with a stop in Payson,AZ at McDonalds. Let me tell you that the prices there are out of control. I ordered a Sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit meal with a small OJ and it cost $8.50. Are they crazy! This is McDonalds. After that stop we proceeded to Show Low where google maps instructed us to go 50 miles out of our way.
So after that we made our way to Sunrise and had a wonderful Day of Skiing. We had some great runs, great yard sales, and sore legs.
Yesterday we went looking for some new Coral for our reef tanks. Didn’t get anything. There is a place called The Ocean Floor in Phoenix. STAY AWAY. They put a coupon out for 50% off coral and didn’t even bother to clean the tanks. WTF. If you put out a coupon you are trying to bring in a large number of customers and your tank better look damn good. I will never go back. We then headed over to a great store Aquatouch where I looked for things to buy after Christmas. This store is clean and the people are friendly. It is pricey but you will get high quality items.
I was very disappointed last night with the Baltimore Ravens performance. It was not even a game. It was a good thing that I had bread pudding, ice cream and a White Russian to balance out my anger toward the poor performance.
P.S. SO NICE GETTING A WEEKEND OFF FROM WORK!
Baltimore Ravens Receiver Torrey Smith
I just saw a piece on the NBC news in Arizona about the Baltimore Ravens’ wide receiver Torrey Smith. It’s the holiday season and here is a story about “the perfect man.” Torrey’s mother was a teen popping out babies left and right. He was the oldest of 7 children. From the age of 4 he would put out cereal for his siblings and put them to bed to try and help out his mother. He was the father figure for his brothers and sisters. Torrey found his break with football. He got a full ride to the University of Maryland. His coach as well as his siblings say Torrey is a modest giving person that puts others first. Now Torrey is a Baltimore Raven and still makes sure that his family has money before he spends it on himself.
Torrey is what professional sports lack. Sports players have an obligation to be good role models and that is what part of their huge salaries go to. We seldom see great role models now and players still demand higher pay. I believe that all contract should have a clause where they loss a significant amount of money when they do not act like role models or professionals.
Awesome Day for a Mountain Bike Ride
Great ride today in the Phoenix Mountain Preserve. I started at a different trailhead (Shea and 40th St.) and got on a bunch of trails I have not been on. Well I don’t think I have been on. I can never remember. If I saw a trail I knew I turned the other way, sometimes that meant turning back. I did have a great ride although climbing a lot more than planed.
Manscaping
No you just can’t let that jungle grow. Women are pissed! They don’t like your nasty swam sack. You have to groom it if you want to get some on a regular basis. Yea in the old days you might be able to get away with an amazon jungle but this is not the old days. Things have changed and not only women need to groom. Now you may be saying, “where do I start?” Start by asking your partner what they like. No point in shaving your gorilla chest if she is an animal lover.
Ok now you have three main options: shaving, waxing, and a laser.
Shaving
Advantages:
- Variable length
- Pain free (until you get an ingrown hair)
- cheap
Disadvantages:
- Ingrown Hairs
- Not permanent
- Grows Back fast
Waxing
Advantages:
- Very smooth
- Takes a while to grow back
Disadvantages:
- Wholy SHIT it hurts (especially bellow the belly button)
- Not permanent
- $$
- Depending on the area you are going to really get to know the waxer
- In a brazilian they don’t wax the sack
Laser
Advantages:
- Permanent
- Smooth
- Not very painful
Disadvantages:
- $$$$$$$$$$ Look for a GROUPON
- All or Nothing
So there are probably some parts better for one treatment and other parts better for other treatments. For instance bikers, shaving your under carriage and then riding for hours can lead to a painful and flat out nasty looking groin area. I would recommend trimming (put that old number 1 on the trimmer) or laser. Also if you have a super hairy chest you might get sick of shaving and need waxing (the more hair the more pain) or laser.
This Norelco Bodygroom electric razor is a great option. Close shave with almost no ingrown hairs. I would give it 4 out of 5 stars.
Basically what I am saying is if your woman likes things groomed, do it and you will thank me.
P.S. For you macho guys if your trim it, it will look bigger and better!
P.P.S. To the women that read this you are welcome.
Motion Controlled Thermostats
Sorry I am so quiet but it was so early I couldn’t give this movie my all.
So in summary WTF. I mean it is possible that I had 2 broken motion sensors in 1 day I guess. How, much money could these things save? If you sleep for 8 hours than they have to stay on for at least 8 hours before shutting off. I guess in a really slow hotel they could save some money but not in a busy one. I mean I tried everything to get this thing to work. If the sensor fails it should not fail in the off mode. How designs this crap. I am all for being green but just have the cleaning lady turn the temp down.
Alec Baldwin a Pilots Point of View
Alec Baldwin refused to turn off his phone on an American Airlines flight because he was playing “Words with Friends”. That’s understandable because you know sometime you are so focused on trying to put the letters in every combination until you finally make a word that no one has ever heard of. It was so bad that the plane went back to the gate and they kicked him off. I am so proud of the Captain and Flight Attendants! Just because you are a star doesn’t mean you can break the rules. When I first saw the SNL skit I did think it was funny. That being said after thinking about it, he basically said “I am Alec Baldwin and I don’t need to follow rules”. He feels he is so important that rules and even laws DON NOT APPLY. It really doesn’t matter if the cellphone rule is valid or not. It is a rule and just because you sit in first class does not change the rule. He is actually going to make money for not following the rules. Freaking Amazing! Alec your your an asshole.
I'm am a jackass!!!
Did You Just Look at My Chest?
I found this yesterday from a friend on twitter. You know women wear these low cut tops and then get mad when you stare at their boobs. This video says it all. Women if you don’t want us to look, cover up! We are instinctively programed to look at them. Just take it as a compliment. Please Comment!!!!!!!
The Man Pub 